Thursday, November 8, 2007

Rept. on Love Without Boundary Nov 3 '07 NYC: BW dating outside the box

I am now pretty much unwound from my flight back from myEast Coast trip which ended with a two-night stay in NYCto participate as a panelist at "Love without boundary:Black women & dating outside the box". So here is my initial report on the event.
First of all, I wanted to thank my fellow co-ModeratorRedchild and Evergreen for attending then taking me outto dinner, showing me their home in Flushing (right inthe middle of the Chinatown in that city which is justoutside of NYC) and buying a copy of my book! Many hugs andkisses to both of you! I feel I really owe you
As I noted in my introductory address to the crowd of about 40 or more attendees, "I feel liberated and exhilaratedby this opportunity to talk about an issue that has beenso near & dear to my heart most of my life." At least thatis how I had it scripted but I may have deviated a littlein what I actually said; I think I left the word exhilaratedout. I then went into my background: a co-moderator of the Yahoo! discussion group PowerCouples_AMBW (Asian MenBlack Women); the author of "BlAsian Exchanges, a novel"and two articles on BlAsian relationships published in Today's Black Woman and Interrace;and an Asian man who has been attracted to and intimatelyinvolved with Black woman most of my life (33 years is whatI said near the end of the event). I also noted that I waspoliticized as well as socialized by Black culture and Blackstudents during undergrad at the University of Maryland - College during the mid 1970s as well as the D.C. area; I was a member of the campus Black Student Union and evenwrote articles for their newspaper, the Black Explosionand I also participated in many protests that involvedBlack issues such as the retention of the Black Studiesprogram, Free the Wilmington 10, the Bakke court decision,etc. I noted at the end of my introduction that such politi-cization and socialization with Blacks set the basis formy being attracted to Black women throughout my life but that the type of Black women I've usually been attracted to were woman whom I could have a good conversation with, particularly a good political conversation.
More about what was said during the event's major topicdiscussions will be covered in a later post.
Some afterthoughts that have entered my mind since thisevent: I feel I should have mentioned that in additionto my involvement with Black issues, I was also involvedwith Asian American issues including being the founderof the campus Univ. of Md. Asian American Coalitionwhich pushed issues such as the Asians in America classoffered by the American Studies Department in 1975 andwhich also worked in coalition with other Third Worldgroups such as the BSU and other people of color organi-zations on campus. Off campus, I wrote for a newsletterin D.C.'s Chinatown which covered Asian American issuesin the D.C. area and was a founding member of the AsianPacific American Federal Employee Council and the D.C. chapter of the Union of Democratic Filipinos. Yes,I was a busy dude. Another key afterthought concernswhy I've been attracted to BW most of my life: it hadto do with a mix of personal [including my mindset thatBlack women are beautiful as influenced by my admirationfor entertainers such as Roberta Flack and Freday Payne) and political considerations [i.e., Black feminism whichI was moved by in my readings of authors such as Zora Neale Hurston and Sojourner Truth) -not just political as I had said in my introductory speech.Reflecting on this issue during the discussion and think-ing about it afterward, I think that is a more accurate perspective I've taken for my attraction to Black women.And I should also have added that as a regular guy who has strayed periodically from my politically progressiveleanings had his own personal needs to fulfill, I often went forBlack women at least two times in my life who wanted nothingmore than a sexual relationship which is what I wanted aswell - and got.
What do you think of all this? Please, I'd like to hear your comments.
More to be reported in the next few days.
Very Warm Regards,
Sam Cacas


Halima said...

Hello there My name is Halima and I am an author. My blog is BW's IR Circle. I have added you to my Links (if this is ok with you).

will be droping by from time to time!

IR Dating E-Book

Deborah said...

Hello Sam, I've found your blog via Halima's site(Bw's IR Circle) so a big thanks to her and a bigger thanks to you for sharing your thoughts with us. I did want to comment on your description of your involvement in AA culture and the resulting proximity to AA women. Your words have cemented my own personal theory that proximity plays a major role in connecting to others outside one's own social circle. Also, your understanding of the myriad nuances of AA culture can best be understood when one can be an active participant. A few questions for you:
Why do you think there is an increase in AM/BW relationships? And do you think this phenomenon is exclusive to the U.S.? Thans and I'll keep reading.

nobhillwriter said...

To Halima & Deborah:

Thank you for your comments. Thanks Halima for adding me to your link.

Deborah: in answer to your first question, I think there is an increase because neither the Black woman nor the Asian guy want to date white as much as they have in the past and each is discovering the importance of dating a person of color instead of following society's traditional notions of white beauty being the ideal attraction for people of color. I think this phenomenon is prevalent beyond the U.S. in countries such as those in the Caribbean and Africa.

black women first said...

neither the Black woman nor the Asian guy want to date white as much as they have in the past and each is discovering the importance of dating a person of color instead of following society's traditional notions of white beauty being the ideal attraction for people of color.


Couldnt have said it better myself!

M. R. said...

Sam, was there anything said on the panel about Asian men (most specifically East Asians, but sometimes South Asians as well)-- other than yourself, clearly -- NOT being willing to date Black women/women of African descent b/c people of that descent are frequently perceived in Asian culture as being the "lowest of the low"?

And that where Asians were willing for their sons to date out, that their preferences in order would be other Asian women (some historical intra-Asian enmity notwithstanding), then Caucasian women, then Indian and/or Arab women -- basically, anyone other than Black women?

Was anyone willing to tackle that topic at all? And if so, what was said?

nobhillwriter said...

I don't recall anything being said about that at all and I certainly did not. In fact, my recollection was I said that since my undergraduate college years - starting when I was influenced by Freda Payne and Angela Davis - I have always been attracted to Black women because of their intellectual, political, cultural and emotional intelligence.